Saturday, May 30, 2009

Trip Report of Municycling Cheyenne State Pk.

Cheyenne Mountain Colorado With the Colorado Spring's Muniacs.

You may remember Cheyenne Mountain from the movies. It is the home of NORAD. NORAD is based deep in the center of the Mountain, leaving plenty of room for Muni trails all around the base.

I met the Muniacs for the first time Saturday at the picnic area and trailhead. 10 muniers geared up and hit the new trail system.

Sweet, well-drained, flowy trails honeycomb the state park. For 6 bucks you get unlimited riding, all the single-track your thighs can stand. It was a beautiful morning and the riding was amazing.

Everyone was named Mike, so that made things easy.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Step Aside Snuggie; It's the Wearable Towel.

Because you can't really wear your snuggie in public.

Perfect for hitchhiking around the galaxy.

Heck with that...I want a wearable napkin. Big one with a lobster and pockets at the bottom.

Looks faboulous with green crocs.

I have combined the wearable robe AND the snuggie into one amazing new product; I call it "The Robe. "

America is getting obese, it's just a matter of time before we are all wearing moo-moos anyway.
I say we send a bunch to Guantanamo Bay. Perfect for after-waterboarding attire.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009


Florida is making electricity from your poop.

MaxWest Environmental Systems announces the grand opening of their gasification facility today in Sanford, Florida, at Sanford’s South Water Resource Center.
This innovative system was designed to provide renewable ‘green’ thermal energy to replace energy from natural gas for the City’s sludge dryer by turning Sanford’s treated wastewater sludge into gas. The energy in the sludge is then converted to heat safely and economically.
According to their press release, “This first of its kind, industry-changing technology will provide Sanford with a long-term, green solution for sludge disposal while saving millions of dollars in natural gas fuel costs. Sanford’s 20-year contract with MaxWest also provides long-term energy price stability. And, as the system grows, the opportunity to produce renewable green electricity is available.”
MaxWest also plans on building
more gasification systems in Florida and other states for animal, industrial and forest product wastes. They plan to build a facility in Ocala/Marion County, FL, (the “horse capital of the world“) that takes horse manure and turns it into renewable electric power.

Are poops then considered carbon credits?

They deliver the energy to your house, but first they set it on the porch, light it on fire and run.

My cat box, alone, could power a casino for awhile.

A whole new meaning to rolling brown-outs!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

First Things Michael Vick Will Do After Prison

Well, first off he is declaring bankruptcy.
Unlike many CEO's who are declaring bankruptcy and THEN going to prison.

He is getting a $10 an hour construction job. He says he is "shovel ready."

Instead of dog fights he is looking forward to lawyer fights.

Maybe this is a real life dog-fight-club!
Michael Vick could be Tom Brady's Tyler Durden??

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Sarh Palin to Write a Book; 500 Baby names

Sarah Palin's Rejected Book Titles:
Fear and Loathing n Alaska
500 Baby names
3 Sippy Cups of Tea
Where the Wild Things Are...Delicious
Eat, Pray, Procreate
Saturday's with Sarah.
The Bridges of Nowhere County
What to Expect when Abstinance Doesn't Work
!000 Things to see From My House
Idiot's Guide to the Vice-Presidency

Friday, May 8, 2009

Tennesee To Erect Statue of Al gore...just for the shade.

Tennesee wants to erect an
How will we know which one is real and which one is the statue??
Hopefully it will also be a wind turbine too.
They will have to have a vote; the skinny Al or the fatter, bearded Al.
I, personally, would love an Al Gore Garden Gnome.
Ralph Nader will find a way to spoil it somehow I bet.
I saw the designs for the piece.
Al gore valiantly riding on the back of a polar bear while beating Anne Coulter with his oscar.
It's pretty magnificent. You should be able to see it fine in the pictures that Air Force - 1 will be taking with it.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Air Force-1 Pictures to be Released

stolen from FARK

The White House is going ahead and releasing the photos of Air Force-1 scaring the pants off New York City from it's recent fly-by. They had to photoshop out the people running for their lives.

Next expect the Air Force - 1 sex tape to be released.

I think I saw the official picture already, it was leaked on the internet somewhere today. I didn't know they had Hugh Jackman hanging on to the wing with his Wolverine claws, as they flew by the Statue of Liberty. That was a cool shot.

They should have said they were just flying around looking for new Supreme Court Justices.

If All of California was Stoned - How Would We Know?

California is thinking about fixing to talk about legalizing da weed.

I imagine that would make living in California more tolerable.

Maybe they should legalize cigarettes first.

Maybe we should ask Ms. California about it.

I want to see it just so I can watch Billy Mays advertise it on TV.

This is a great lesson for the kids; If you run out of money you can just sell drugs.

I'll be investing in brownie futures.

Friday, May 1, 2009

My Interview with Howie Mandel

I am about to play my interview with Mr Howie here in a few minutes.

Highlights will include his discussing his new show Howie does it
...and his new season on Deal or No Deal.

He was very excited about working with a monkey this season...!?

I asked him if the Banker has recieved his federal bailout money. He claims to never have met the banker...He says he just sits in a dark room with no pants on.

I think he makes up what the banker says to the contestants...but he denies it.

I also asked if he ever goes backstage with a box of donuts and asks the suitcase girls "Meal...or no meal?" He says he is not allowed backstage where the girls and monkey dress up. He said the monkey does not wear pants either. Seems to be alot of pantless people on that show!

When I figure out how to post audio files on this here blogspot I will put it up...

Tune in!!