Monday, August 31, 2009

Leave a Comment...Win Some Free Concert Tickets!!

Free Ticket Tuesday on KCMV.

The Killers playing Sept 9th at Red Rocks


Dirty Dozen Brass Band, Sept 18th at the Bluebird.

You could win a pair of tickets to one these shows simply by leaving a comment in this post.

Be Clever, Funny or Touching. leave a joke or short essay on why you should win. Are you a mega-fan who absolutely must go to the show? Flattery will help (maybe). Best comment as judged by me will win the tix.

Leave phone number or e-mail address in the comment so I can get hold of you


Thursday, August 27, 2009

Signs You might Have Stumbled onto a Pot Farm in the Forest

National Foresters are asking the public for help in identifying illegal pot farms in the National forests.

Here is my list of signs you might be in a pot farm as you are out hiking around:

Plants take a lot of water; so if you see some guy with a 400 gallon water tank clipped to his backpack with a caribeener you might want to go back to the car.

If your hiking along and run into Willie Nelson.

Mountain Bikes up on blocks.

A snowboard.

Black light poster and lava lamps off the trail.

All the old logs lying around seem to be made into bongs.

Rabbits with the munchies.

Guy with a weed whacker and a mullet.

Those baggies left along side the trail don't contain dog-poop.

Careful out there!


Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Agenda Items for Obama's Vacation in Marthas Vineyard

Obama just missed Hurricane Bill, but he will boarding up the windows because Healthcare Bill is coming in at a Catagory 5.

Take Bo the dog out for some Portuguese Water Skiing.

Go into town and look for celebrities.

Goof around aboard Jet-Ski-One.

Build a bonfire and do some Czar Gazing!

Let Joe Biden handle the 3 AM calls...they are mostly Ted Kennedy drunk dialing anyway.

15 Photo-ops available of the Obamas enjoying their privacy.


Other things found in Michael Jackson's system:

Besides the 50 Milligram of Propofol they also found 13 grammies of pure talent.

I just read through the 1100 pages of his healthcare report, some interesting things I found listed in the Table of Stomach Contents:

Flinstone Valiums
Jesus Brand Juicy Juice
Lots and lots of Pop.
No Angel Dust was found but they found significant quantities of Fairy Dust.


Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Dollar Bill is Worth More now! Because it is Laced with Cocaine!

This is the Cocaine you could be doing with Geico...

85 to 90% of Paper money laced with cocaine

Roll 'em if you got 'em.

The value of a buck may be down, but as a tool to snort cocaine, U.S. currency is highly valued.

Cocaine traces are found on up to 90 percent of paper money in the USA, according to scientists who recently presented their findings to the 238th National Meeting of the American Chemical Society.


I think what is more disturbing is that 90% of paper money has been in somebodies NOSE! EEEK

If they would just quit paying Kate Moss in cash this might not happen.

Anyway...I have started free-basing dollar bills now.

Is this the straw that broke the camel's bank?


Tuesday, August 18, 2009

From the King of Pop to the King of Popsicles.

Michael Jackson is still not buried. Like his idol James Brown his family is keeping him on ice till they figure out where to put him. Not cremated, not buried, they just run a zamboni over him every now and then.

The greatest pop star of the 20th century's final resting place is in a tuff-shed at Forest Lawn Cemetary.

Somehow I think he is just going to end up in the Smithsonian next to the mammoths.

The new Jackson TV Dinner.

The brothers are going to keep working though, they have replaced Michael with Brian Boitano for the Jackson's on Ice tour.

They did put his brain back in his head about brain-freeze.

The family visits him often it is reported. Except for Janet Jackson who is not allowed into cold rooms anymore.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Mountain Unicycling From Copper Mtn to Camp Hale.

Imagine the most perfect Colorado day.
Sunny without being too hot.
Marshmallow clouds floating lazy through a clear blue sky.
Cool breezes calmly brushing through your hair.
A scent of wildflowers tickling your nose.

A rare day in the Colorado high country, perfect for an epic adventure of singletrack, one wheeled, adreneline fueled tour of one of the best alpine rides around.
The Colorado Trail put on it's finest display today and we were there to soak it all in.

Normally, an summer, alpine attempt in the Colorado high country requires a crack of dawn departure and a race to the summits before noon when the cooling rains and the deadly lightening make their appearance.
Not on this day! Absoulutely no thunderstorms predicted, no scary dark clouds, no prickly ozone standing up the hair on the back of your neck as you hurry over the passes.
Just blue, blue, blue skies and fluffy small clouds greeting you like your best BFF friend all day long.

Mike and I have tried for two summers now to put this ride together and today was the day. We met in Leadville, the highest city in America, and proceeded to drop off cars and perform the holy ritual of the shuttle.
We finally arrived at the parking lot of Copper Mountain Ski Area and started our ride at a casual 9:00 AM.
Starting under the American Flyer chair lift, oddly not moving at all, like a slow, surreal line of empty chairs going nowhere. A ghost resort where the white ribbons of parka clad ski enthusiasts were replaced by a green hill of long grasses performing their turns in the breeze.

The parking lot starts at 9800 feet above sea level, we began the slow climb up the Colorado Trail to Searle Pass. We followed the trail through dark pine forests, passing Janet's Cabin, meadows of willows, and finally got above tree line to chorus of colors from the remaining wildflowers that still clung to the slopes. We reached Searle Pass with two mountain bikers who were amazed that two unicycle guys somehow managed to keep up with them from the start. In the 7 miles to the pass we climbed 2600 feet.

The next traverse to Kokomo Pass was the narrowest singletrack I have ever seen. Barely wider than my 3" tire. Mostly un-ridable for me, Mike's 29'er cleaned the whole few miles. My pedals seemed to strike the side of the deep cut trail throwing me off into grassy clumps lining the trail. The second half was much more 26'er friendly.

Amazing high alpine fields under a blue sky, a sky made even more bluer in the thin air. here we are contouring along a basin at 12,200 feet. The views are as breath taking as the lack of oxygen. We are riding unicycles at almost 2 1/2 miles in the sky, at 2.1/2 MPH. The moment does not go un-noticed as Mike and are grinning and high-fiving along the whole traverse.

We drop a bit to Kokomo pass. We have been riding now 13 miles now, most of it above tree-line in the land of Marmots and Pika who make burrows among the clouds. We have seen no other humans for hours now, and enjoying every minute of it. Cameras get put away as we have 4 1/2 miles of descent into Camp Hale. Giddy with endorphines and Espresso flavored Gu we drop in and ride non-stop to the car along Cataract Creek. Mike found a waterfall down by the trailhead where we left the car and enjoyed some nice relaxing down-time waiting for me.

We left our shuttle car in the heart of Camp Hale, made famous as the ski-training grounds for the Army's 10th Mtn Division before WWII. From these hallowed grounds the troops of the 10th mountain went to Italy and climbed some un-climbable cliffs to defeat the Nazis who were not expecting anyone to come that way. Many of the soldiers returned to Colorado and began most of the Ski areas that we enjoy today. I bet they never-ever expected their ski trails to be assualted by pale, crazed unicyclers.

This was my longest and most grueling Muni ride ever. I was sore and beat up, but also energized, amazed and grateful for being able to complete such an amazing ride.
Thanks to Mike from Aspen for putting it together, being such a great guy and amazing Muni-rider. Thanks, also, for the delicious Espresso Gu.