Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Disoriented in the Orient.

I am sore from bowing and smiling.

We had our first two shows yesterday. Part of show is to run to the back of the room for a meet-n-greet after the final number. Pretty standard for this type of show, and I didn't think much about it. Normally you just stand in a recieving line and shake people's hands as they file past... very much like a recieving line at a wedding. I was unprepared for the onslaught...

400 little Japanese people armed with digital cameras and cell-phones descended on the cast like a biblical plague of locusts. Their eyes shining, star-struck fans clamored to get at us for multiple photos each, shaking our hands vigorusly while bowing like an oil pump in a Texas field.

They lined up 20 deep and waited up to twenty minutes for a picture with little Scotto Bondosan and the others. I could not have possibly imagined this fate awaited me as I ran to the back of the room, had I known what was in store for me I very well may have kept running. Trouble is you can't run very far away on a ship.

The scene repeated itself as I walked around the ship later, meeting and greeting again as people recognized me as "the magico".

I had always heard that working on a cruise ship requires you to adhere to many rules. As an entertainer you have a few more freedoms, and exist somewhere above the regular staff and below the passengers. Here are a few rules from the employee handbook:
No private conversation while at work.
Don't fold your arms or sit "chin in hand"
no whistling.
Don't touch your face or hair while guests are present.
Making use of items that have touched the floor.
nop pinching food.
no pointing at guests.
no blowing your breath against food, beverages, or tableware.
Yawning or picking your nose.

Pictures from Kobe. I finally was allowed off the ship as we had a few hours in port. The first place the cast wanted to visit was Starbucks. I was totally down with that.

Other notes:

Every time I turn on the bathroom light switch I can hear the toilet literally Boot-up. I'm afraid the toilet here might be connected to the internet, and my morning visit is considered "uploading."

I watched Monday Night Football with Japanese Sports commentators. Reducing the National Football League to something more like Ninja Warrior. Every time Someone got tackled or ran out of bounds I expected them to fall into a pool of muddy water.

Cruise ships are not the most quiet way of travel. It grumbles and groans and creaks more than Andy Rooney on a bicycle.

It's not "Merry Christmas" here by the way, it's "Happy-Merry Christmas."

I saw an Obama speech on the news just now. I was wondering where they found a Kenyan-to-Japanese translator.


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